3 Comments

hannah · March 28, 2017 at 5:18 pm

thank you for doing this. for sharing your experiences. for being real about the frustrations and general shittiness of dealing with chronic pain, doctors, and being told it’s all in your head. for continuing the search and talking about it. i have been dealing with chronic pain for nearly five years now, austensibly from an injury which i sustained the summer i was twenty six. but i know there must be something i’m missing. i’m tired of doctors telling me it’s all in my head, or a feedback loop which i just haven’t yet effectively broken, or because of my environment or habits. i’ve completely changed my lifestyle, my consumption habits, my environment… i do somuchfuckingyoga. but not the intsagrammable kind where i’ve practiced daily for four years and can therefore now contort and do handstands; i’m still laying on the ground amidst the flatulence of the 50+ crowd, practicing breathing. i’ve recently had the inkling that i should research lyme disease. i stumbled upon your podcast today and it has sparked a fire. so thank you for putting this out there. thank you for sharing your voice. i look forward to the next part.

    JesseMercury · March 29, 2017 at 9:59 am

    I’m so excited to share the rest of the story with you! I really hope it gives you some new ideas.

Olga A · May 16, 2017 at 9:05 pm

Hey Jesse! I’m so happy (I guess happy is the word?) that I finally got to listen to this. Jesus, there is so much I can relate to: that heavy feeling when you can’t contribute at your job, being judged/shamed for illness, having doctors tell you you’re crazy, definitely that feeling when you know your issue is gone (kind of reminds me of Lost when the old lady no longer has a medical problem – was it cancer? – upon arriving on the island, it must have been inspired by real accounts of people with chronic issues), and definitely that rotating TV/doc schedule (however, I there were many times even a TV was too stimulating for me), and definitely definitely that feeling that just walking 15 ft to the bathroom may well be the biggest accomplishment of that day.

And, I’m pretty sure your body doesn’t remember most negative things once they go away (such as your memory issues) as a defense mechanism. I can barely remember the pain and dark mental places I was in now that it’s all gone, even though I’m certain that it is the very worst physical and mental thing I have gone through, even though I can’t recall details.

However, I am happy that you moved to Grossmont because then I got to meet you! (and, funny enough, I felt like I really didn’t jive at GHS, but you were one of the okayest people around that I actually wanted to get to know). Jesse Mercury – Top 1% of Mold Sensitivity! Okayest Guy Around! Round of applause!

And what’s up with ER staff just sticking you in an MRI when they don’t know what to do?

In regards to your move to Seattle, I totally remember that moment when I drove through Portland for the first time and knew I needed to be there. It took me about 6 years to do it, but I have loved it ever since! I love Seattle very much, too, though. Both are such beautiful cities.

My issue changed me a lot, too. In both bad and good ways – I learned about health, physical pain tolerance (and now kind of feel like a badass because I know how much I could really handle), but also became really bitter because for 3 years I was missing out on so much and was so frustrated by the lack of results.

Looking forward to Part 2.

p.s. People saying you haven’t had tofu cooked right is like when when people say their cat is different. No and no!

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